The Vancouver 2010 Olympic Cauldron
Four years into this journey… for those of you who haven’t been with us this whole time, it was four years ago today that we began our journey towards Trey’s diagnosis of Hunter Syndrome.
It’s not the same. Each year that initial pain gets farther and farther away. I recall at Trey’s one year of diagnosis mark, Valentine’s Day made me feel nauseous. I couldn’t even think of celebrating. The second year V-Day still made me feel sick, but not as much as the first. Last year, I could still feel those feelings, but they weren’t sharp. This year… well, I don’t really have any negative feelings. I figured I should post, because today is the marker for Trey’s fourth year since diagnosis, but I wasn’t sure what I’d write. So here I am. Free wheeling.
I wrote a whole blog, but it wasn’t inspired, so I chopped it. That’s it, I guess. This day, at least for this year, is not inspiring. Which, I think, is a big step. I’m glad about that. Ryan and I still will not celebrate today, because it just doesn’t feel right, but it takes doing this, sitting down and writing, to bring back those feelings. I have to dig deep and think hard to find those feelings. They’re not close to the top or at the top like they were before.
I also didn’t really celebrate V-Day before Trey’s diagnosis because when I was at University, I participated in ‘The Vagina Monologues’, a play you may have heard of, that aims to make V-Day about stopping violence against women. The author, Eve Ensler, decided to stop celebrating Valentine’s Day until violence against women has been stopped. And I support that.
So, in honour of Trey and stopping violence against women around the world, we will find another day to celebrate. However, I will celebrate today how far we have come in the past four years. I am thankful to everyone who has supported us through this journey. If it were not for you and Ryan and Trey and Avery and Sadie, I would not be at a place where I can honestly say that on the fourth anniversary of Trey’s diagnosis, I am not sad. I love my life. Thank you for your part in that.
Love Deb